Everywhere Virtually

I awoke some time around 8am. I spied a drip that had made it’s way from the outer fly sheet to the inside. I naturally poked it and unleashed a waterfall. OK maybe not a waterfall but certainly a steady stream of drips. I was forced to get up or get wet. I emerged from the tent like an ungainly moth emerging from its cocoon. It wasn’t pretty, dignified or graceful.

The air was fresh and everything was covered in dew and the rain from the previous nights thunderstorm. I got showered and shaved and met my English neighbour and his Dutch wife again for some mint tea. I got packed quickly and rode across the road to Aldi Sud for some breakfast and supplies.

By now it was 10am and I was uncertain about where my ultimate destination should be. It was Tuesday and by 10am Wednesday morning I needed to be in Boulogne-Sur-Mer. I was 220 miles behind where I should have been starting. I tapped Boulogne into the Sat Nav and it had an ETA of 11pm. I knew with stops that would increase. Add in the weather and traffic and I could look at adding 3 hours to that ETA.

I decided to go for it. I tapped in Stuttgart as my way point and I spent the next two hours winding my around the Tirol. I crossed the Austrian/German border 3 or 4 times and was awed by the scenery. Eventually I was on the Autobahn and heading North.

By the time I reached Stuttgart the rain had arrived. I put on my waterproof gloves, liner and changed to my clear visor. It was steady, drizzly, fine rain. As Peter Kay say’s. The stuff that soaks you right through, I didn’t have my wind guard fixed to the chin area of my helmet so the rain was finding it’s way up underneath my chin and neck. It was also soaking the padding around my cheeks which was pissing me off.

I rode north past Baden Baden, and towards Strasbourg. By some weird quirk of fate I ended up in the black hole that is St Avold. The same roadworks, the same autoroute/autobahn place name confusion. You just don’t know whether you are in Franec or Germany around there.

I decided to get off the Peage and went cross country. There were quite a few car accidents around which suggested the roads were oily. I pushed on through the northern edge of the Vosges mountains. I happened upon a town called ‘Bitche’. It’s the little humorous moments that keep your spirits going in testing conditions.

I looked at the sat nav and it was trying to send me through Luxembourg and Belgium again. I thought… no way. I just want to get going. I rode through Sarreguemines and then took the E25 towards Metz. By the time I reached Verdun it was getting dark. I made a fuel stop at the Agip and had the chance to use my French which is always a pleasure. I rode on towards Reims and as I did so I spotted the flashes of lighting on the horizon to my right. To my left was the storm I left behind and the moon.

I tapped the sat nav screen and used the compass feature. I was heading due west now. I was glad that I was avoiding the thunderstorm. Then the autoroute curved around to the right. The compass was moving round. west, west north west, north west and ultimately due north. Damn! I was heading straight for the storm.

By now it was after 10pm. I passed Reims and had not met the storm yet. The wind was increasing and I hoped that it would be blown to the East before I met it. I decided to ride towards Amiens. By now it was 2am and as I had predicted I was going to have a very late arrival.

I don’t like riding that late at night. It’s easy to lose concentration, hit an object in the road or worse still, an animal. There were many signs that warned of deer for 18kms.

Eventually the cloud thickened and it started raining. I had my liner on but not my fleece and I was getting cold. Teeth chatteringly cold. I rode through the Somme region and was a little spooked. Here I am at 2am, under an eery moonlight, with the Silhouettes of wind turbines and the knowledge that millions of men died in this area during the great wars. I was also heartened by the fact that I was riding through the area on a German bike and enjoying the benefits of a peaceful and united Europe. Did so many need to die? I’m not so sure. Many of those who fought were naive pawns, youthful and unwilling participants in a war concocted by the elite classes.

The sat nav counted down to Boulogne and I was heartened and reinvigorated. I made a final push on to the port. I had the ETAP hotel in my sights. I arrived at 3am and noticed the car park looked pretty full. In fact… wait a minute… it’s overflowing with cars.

I approached the reception to find a notice on the door. The hotel was full. “Oh”, I thought. I walked back to the bike. It was now after 3am. I contemplated staying up or sleeping outside but the weather was getting worse so I didn’t relish this option. The sat nav said there was another ETAP in the centre of Boulogne! fantastic!

I arrived 15 minutes later. Again the same story. Completely full. This was now becoming a problem. I did a wider search for ETAP’s and I found one in Calais. it was 23km’s away. It would take me half an hour to get there. The wind was now Gale force and as I left the lights of Boulougne the darkness enveloped me once more as a thunderstorm rolled in from the channel. Bolts of lightning were coming down everywhere and I was being pelted with hailstones. This was indeed adventure but at the same time was testing and unpleasant.

I arrived at Etap Calais at 4am. Like a wet dog I approached reception. There was room. It was €49. I didn’t care. If it had been €149 I would have paid. I left the holdall on the bike figuring that if someone was weird enough to steal it in a howling gale at 4am they’d deserve the bag of clothes and wet camping gear.

I got to my room and was now a little hyper. Initially I couldn’t sleep but after 10 minutes of a German cop drama with French subtitles I was in the land of nod ZZZZZZZZ

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