Everywhere Virtually

The next morning I heard aggressive dog barking… every few moments… “woof,woof,woof”. These were nasty dogs, real nasty. I acknowledged the dogs and swiftly returned to my slumber. I should explain that the barking dogs belonged to my phone. It was my morning alarm and I figured I would respond to a rabid barking dog rather than something going bleep bleep. I didn’t. I turned over and continued sleeping.

The next thing I hear was ‘bang, bang, bang’ on the door accompanied by French voices. I was confused I thought I was in Austria? I really was on another planet. It was dark. I thought who on earth is banging on my door at this hour. I then looked at the window. The blind was down. I pulled it up…. bam! Intense sunshine, high in the sky. My first thought was… uh oh! What time is it? It was 11am. I should have been out of the room an hour ago. I hastily informed room service I would be out in 10 minutes. No shower, no shave, Nada. I didn’t like this state of affairs having done a 1000km ride the day before but I was out of time. I didn’t even have time for breakfast but managed to sustain myself with a cereal bar. Looking disheveled I swiftly made my way past the crisp suited individuals standing in reception.

My big yellow bag was still on the bike and I only had to attach the tank bag and sat nav. I had 45 minutes to make my way back to Boulogne and check in. I should add that while it was sunny there was a gale force wind of 60mph + and blustery showers. I had great difficulty keeping the bike in a straight line. Unlike the Devon trip I didn’t have the benefit of an extra passenger for stability.

I made it to Boulogne and for some reason headed for the original Etap hotel thinking that was where the port was located. It wasn’t. I lost another 15 minutes. Eventually I found the port and found myself amongst other BMW GS riders. The guy in front of me was from Lincoln and had ridden from the Alps the previous night like I. His battery failed and he had a morning of sorting out a replacement at BMW in Boulogne.

Another couple on a 1200GS were not particularly friendly or chatty. They had been in the south of France and Paris and looked well rested, fed and clean. They had a northampton plate and London accents and I made a few assumptions and toddled off towards a BMW X-challenge rider. He was from Brighton and was an interesting chap. His wife was driving their support van and they used this to sleep in and store the bike when necessary. He had downscaled from the huge hulking 1200 GS and now preferred the lighter bikes. Our bikes were similar in many ways.

I managed to grab a baguette and a hot chocolate. We got ready to board and were being heckled by some chav’s speaking estuary English in a car beside our lane. I wasn’t paying much attention but when we fired up the engines I did get a small glow of satisfaction that we had drowned out their verbal diarrhoea.

We approached the ship and it was bobbing up and down quite dramatically. The metal deck was soaking wet and the bike heavy. I have short legs and this was going to be a challenge. Up to know I’ve dropped the bike when going slowly and performing tight manoeuvres. This was to be one of those occasions. Dropping the bike now would hold up the loading process and could cause me an injury. I gingerly rode onto the ship and then turned 180 degrees to face towards the back of the ship. The bigger bikes went first and then it was my turn to ride onto the brace that would hold my bike. I managed it without incident and sat on the bike while they clamped it in place. I thought It was falling but it was just the way it had been locked in place. I dismounted and headed up to the main lounge.

I sat with the chap who owned the X-challenge and his wife. We had a long chat about travel and bikes and the state of the sea conditions. The ferry staff were still vacumning up the vomit from the previous run. It looked rough in the harbour and as the Catamaran got under way It became evident that this was going to be a fun ride.

It was rough. People were crying, getting sick, shouting out but amid all of this my stomach was fine. I decided to tuck into my baguette and carried on talking to my new buddies. Just over an hour later we arrived and I made my way down to the car deck. The bikes were still standing which was good but the real challenge was ahead. The ship was pitching up and down. The steel ramp was also moving and was soaking wet. The car deck staff unstrapped the bikes and one guy manhandled the bike off the clamp with me on the bike. That was impressive considering the bike was fully fuelled and loaded. A big burly bloke in blue overalls told me to watch the cross wind as I left the ship. He wasn’t wrong. A classic 1970′s VW campervan drove off and instantaneously it’s sun roof flipped up and tore off. Next to go was a 1200GS and then me. The 1200 with a passenger on board nearly toppled. I focused on the tarmac beyond the ram and went for it.

The wind was very powerful. Reminscent of the day I crossed the Severn bridge in a gale.

I rode out of Dover and took the westerly road up and out of the town towards the M20. The wind was crazy. more than once it blew me off course and I would have stopped if there had been anywhere safe and protected to stop but unlike the rest of the continent there were no rest stops until the Maidstone area.

As I approached the M25 the wind calmed down somewhat and I spent the rest of the journey dodging showers. I saw the ill fated VW camper van again in Warwick services on the M40. Rope and Gaffa tape had saved the day for them.

Despite having 100 miles more to ride the journey felt as if it was over. I did have one more deadline and that was to meet ‘M’ at the airport that evening. I was concerned that the time was getting tight when I realised I hadn’t changed the time on my watch and the bike to UK time. I found I had an extra hour to play with and thus relaxed into a cruise.

I came off the motorway and did the last leg on the back country roads of Cheshire.
I dropped in on my parents around 8pm and it was nice to be back safe and well even if I still hankered after more time on the open road.

Pages: 1 2